The Rainbow Connection

I was watching “Yo Gabba Gabba” today with my son and my brother.  After just a few minutes my brother, who’s gay, said, “This is the gayest thing I’ve ever seen.”  I said, “I know, right?  He loves it.”  Cut to my son spinning in circles and dancing in the living room, singing along to every song and laughing hysterically.  (Now, let me clarify.  The word gay is used way too much to describe things that are stupid or lame and I am not a huge fan of using “gay” in that pejorative sense.  So, just to be clear, the word “gay” in the context of this entry actually refers to “of homosexual nature.”)  I said, “I think all kids’ shows are a little gay, don’t you?”  My brain was flooded with all of the seemingly gay aspects of the children’s shows that I let my son watch on a daily basis and even some from my own childhood. 

There’s a street in Maplewood called Gayola and my brother and I often use that word to describe things are just too gay.  I think it describes most musicals and some children’s shows perfectly.   I’m not just talking about “Yo Gabba Gabba,” but since we started with that show, I will admit that for the longest time I didn’t let my son watch it because of the big, red, one eyed monster.  You heard me correctly.  There’s a one eyed monster on the show.  By sheer principal I was dead set against it.  I thought the creators of this show must be total perverts.  Why would they possibly put something like that in a kid’s show?  Then I watched an episode where Jack Black gets lost and ends up in Gabba Land and, oh my.  It is like one long acid trip.  And not the scary kind, like the "Letter People," but the cool kind, like "Pee Wee's Playhouse" (which, by the way, was my favorite kids show growing up and I'm not ashamed to admit that I would sit down for a full half hour and watch it right now if it came on.)  Suddenly it all became clear to me.  This show is freaking awesome.  DJ Lance Rock is a trip in and of himself.  I found myself loving this quirky and slightly disturbing show because it is so cheerful and creative. Its messages are clear, its purpose obvious. Its themes are sharing, caring, and not being afraid of others’ differences.  Tolerant, the way I think the world should be.

When you really think about it, the creators of children’s shows have a fine line to walk.  Kids never read into anything because they’re not cynical.  They haven’t had time to adapt a sick and twisted worldview.  Adults on the other hand, we read into everything. We’re such sickos.  In my own perverted brainstorming of all the children’s shows with “colorful” characters or themes I came up with everything from Dumbledore to the purple Teletubby to Bert and Ernie.  Fred from “Scooby Doo” wore an ascot.  Smurfette was the only girl in the village.  (Google "Vanity Smurf" if you don’t know where I’m going with that.) Gonzo had that weird nose.  And don’t tell me that you thought He-Man was straight. One of my favorites was this show called “Today’s Special” on PBS that aired from 1982 to about 1987. The mannequin, Jeff, came to life and sang and danced when you put his favorite accessory, a newsboys’ cap, on his head and said the magical words, “Hocus Pocus Ala-Magokus.”  It was pretty gayola.

When I assumed the tremendous responsibility of raising children, I swore I would be one of those parents who wouldn’t let my kid watch T.V. all the time.  He wouldn’t dare watch as much as I did growing up.  I can still sing nearly every theme song to any show from the 80’s or 90’s.  Most of my childhood years are self categorized as television shows, i.e. “The year of Small Wonder” or “The Year of the Gummy Bears.”  I remember what happened in what year based on what I was watching on the tube.  Remember when we had that horrible winter and that blizzard where we were stuck in the house for days?  Yep, that was The Year of Thundercats.  

While I started out with good intentions, it’s practically impossible to keep my son from watching a little T.V. every now and then.  The internet makes it really convenient to pull them up anytime I need a little break.  And I have to give modern children’s shows respect.  There’s a show for just about every child of every ethnicity out there.  Hispanic, Asian, British…I think my son is going to speak about three different languages and have an accent by the time he’s four years old.  There are shows that exclusively teach math and shapes.  Some talk about dinosaurs and use these scientific words that are difficult for me to even pronounce.  Some teach problem solving skills. And some are just weird head-scratchers, like “Yo Gabba Gabba.”  There’s shows that focus solely on conflict resolution, teaching kids to talk about their feelings and share their emotions.  My son’s current favorite is “Super Why” on PBS, which transports its characters into a story and uses letters to figure out problems.  Sometimes, if he’s lucky, they will even showcase the letter “W.”

I hate to admit this, but, I think my son’s a little smarter from watching T.V.  There, I said it.  I can just hear the American Family Association beating down my door as soon as I typed those words. (But let’s be honest, I blew my chances of being endorsed by them because I’ve used the word “gay” too much in a non-judgmental way.  Oh well.)  Let it be known that I work with my son on a daily basis and we spell words, read books and play games.  We also pray.  He’s the only two-year-old I know who can spell “lullaby.”  He’s up to about thirteen words now. Ask him to spell for you next time you see him.  In other words, I don’t just park him in front of the old telly all day.  But when he does watch it, he’s so engrossed in some of these shows that he’s learning without even realizing it.  Whoever said T.V. was bad for kids does not realize that everything I needed to know I learned from “Duck Tales.”  It was the smartest show on television in my day.  No kidding, I even referred to it when I read “The Odyssey” for the first time in college.  “Pennies, Nickles, Quarters, Dimes…Come to us while there’s still time!”  If you are laughing right now, you are a child of the ‘80’s and probably watched way too much T.V.  Also, you are probably my best friend. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is, I ain't got no problem with television.  I don’t want my boy to be glued to the tube all day but in moderation, entertainment that’s educational is not going to kill him.  I see nothing wrong with letting my son watch shows that teach him basic things like respecting differences and trying new things, making new friends and caring about others, even if some of the shows are a little gay.  And anyway, I can’t help but think that all of these shows are helping to make the world a more sensitive place, encouraging a generation of kids who think before they speak and who act out of kindness and compassion.  It doesn’t sound so bad.  Maybe it’s us adults who could stand to learn a thing or two. There are no grown-up shows as good as “Yo Gabba Gabba” to be sure, but I keep waiting.  Someday I’ll find it.  “…The lovers, the dreamers, and me.”