What else should I be? All Apologies...

Listen. Here is what I didn’t want to do with my previous entry.  I didn’t mean to offend any mom.  If you are a perfect mom, or striving to be so, if you work out everyday and drink protein shakes, if you have a perfect ponytail and drive a perfect car and have perfect looking children…I may be a bit jealous of you but I am not competing against you.  I am not downplaying your efforts or insulting your way of life.  My blog is not meant to degrade any, ANY woman.  I am pro-woman.  I will never judge a woman because of what she looks like or what she drives.  What is important in any person is character, which can’t be determined by outward appearances. What I mean to do is to go through the process of laughing at myself, and eventually, forgive myself.  Because I will never be perfect.  I will always fall short.  I will never even be a version of what I consider perfect, and that’s okay.  In fact, through writing about my parenting experience, I hope to redefine perfection.  Because I find the best and most interesting things about me are, in fact, my flaws.  If you strive for excellence in your own life, man, that is awesome.  I think it’s fair to say that I put a lot of pressure on myself and I don’t give myself enough credit.  If you put a lot of pressure on yourself and can live under the weight of it, again, you’re awesome.  I am just trying to survive.  I can focus on thriving some other time, when life isn’t kicking my butt.

That being said, let me tell you a story.  One night at dinner, a friend of mine told me about what a single friend of hers had to say about stay at home moms.  I decided that this person had to be put in her place, so I passive-aggressively fired off this tasty little diatribe on Facebook, (because people care about what I think, and this woman would surely hear about it).  It went something like this:

After hearing that a friend of a friend (who is a teacher and claims to be a feminist) said that stay-at-home moms do not use their brains, I feel I have to say this. True feminists do not feel threatened or insecure because of another woman's choices. I have an English degree, I am extremely well read, and I am a stay at home mom. It is a careful choice that I made based on what I thought was best for my son. The best thing I can do with my education and intelligence is to shape my own child's young mind. It is mind blowing that a teacher of all people would say such a thing. Is a parent not the first teacher in a child's life? Feminism is about having choices, and respecting the choices that women make. To say that a stay at home mom is wasting her brain is irresponsible and disrespectful, and anti-feminist because it is anti-woman. I have friends who are choosing not to have children. I don't look down my nose at them and vice versa, because when you put down one woman's choices you are forcing them to fit into a role that you have decided is best, just as we've accused men of doing to us for ages. I'm so sick of women attacking other women. I am not your competitor. I am not your enemy. I am a wife, sister, mother, friend. If we are constantly competing against each other, how can we possibly accomplish anything?

I felt so great after writing this.  I felt empowered.  I felt like I was standing up for stay at home moms everywhere!  Nay, women everywhere!  It felt good to be able to fully articulate how this woman made me feel. 

And then it occurred to me.  Who the heck cares?  Who am I to get mad at this woman who doesn’t have kids and who isn’t married?  I found myself feeling sorry for her that she could be so decided in her opinions without experiencing any part of a life on which they are based.  She will never be able to relate to me nor I to her unless our roles were completely switched.  So I forgive her.  I back down.  I move on.  Women unite!

I sat down to write this blog yesterday while my son was napping.  I want to write what I know and I want to do it for me.  But you know, it's for you too.  If you want it.